As I’m swimming in the weeds of a grounded journey, I’m trying to gain the overhead perspective. I’m taking every day, whether it’s normal, not so normal, or tragic, stirring it together, pouring in a thousand gallons of the preverbial “WHY?!” and letting it stew until it makes sense. Lately that concoction has been pretty bitter-sweet.
I’m not saying everything makes sense. Or that I get everything, or anything really. Except all I know is that stuff happens, and it’s whether I learn from it or not as to whether it had a purpose. I believe very strongly that everything happens for a reason. But what happens when you don’t understand the reason? Let’s say you get robbed, what is the reason for that? To teach you to lock your doors?…Idon’t really know. But stuff happens. God is the greatest teacher of all, but he’s also a story teller. Your story teller. Not so much that He’s telling others about you, but He’s telling YOU about you.
All I can really do when tragedy hits, is say okay, let it go, move on, focus on the positive aspects of either that tragedy if there are any (such as their effects), or focus on the moments in my life that made sense, and made me truly happy.
I find myself going through every day just living, moving, breathing. But I focus on the day as a whole. Okay I worked, I ate lunch, blah, blah. It’s like when your mom or dad asks how your day went as a kid. “Fine.” is your reply. But you’re answering yourself in that same way. My day was fine I guess. But what recently I’ve said to myself at random points in the day “right now I am happy.” and in that moment, I can flourish. Precisely at that moment I was happy. Whether it was just the fall air, or a song on the radio, or just being done with work. And when I focus on those moments, my life becomes poetically beautiful. And finding yourself happy helps you find yourself. (I think)
I don’t know a lot, but I am learning to be okay with myself. And be okay with those moments that make me happy.
But I guess this gradual poetry that I’m talking about really is just how to find happiness in your life. Or constant hope. I just want to encourage people to find the beauty that is their story whether it is tragic or happy. Life is that up and down roller-coaster (for me a bunch of loops), and we’re just along for the ride. Enjoy it while it lasts. :]
